This French B1 lesson explains tu vs vous French etiquette step by step, with examples in French and English. Then practise with the worksheet on tu vs vous French etiquette and check yourself with the quiz.
Quick answer: In France, use vous with strangers, clients and superiors, and tu with friends, family and peers, switching only when invited with On peut se tutoyer ?. Greet friends with la bise (the number of kisses varies by region), shake hands at work, and say Bon appétit before eating. Describe customs with il faut and il vaut mieux.
Level: French B1 (CEFR intermediate) · Standards: CEFR B1, Spoken production
Tu vs vous French etiquette: the lesson
How do you choose between tu and vous?
French has two ways to say “you”. Tu is for people you are close to, vous for strangers, clients, older people and anyone you address as a group. Using the wrong one is rarely a disaster, but starting with vous is always the safe choice.
To move from one to the other, someone says On peut se tutoyer ? or Vous pouvez me tutoyer. The verbs tutoyer and vouvoyer belong to the -oyer family: y becomes i before a silent ending.
| Subject | tutoyer | vouvoyer |
|---|---|---|
| je | tutoie | vouvoie |
| tu | tutoies | vouvoies |
| il / elle / on | tutoie | vouvoie |
| nous | tutoyons | vouvoyons |
| vous | tutoyez | vouvoyez |
| ils / elles | tutoient | vouvoient |
How does la bise work?
La bise is a light kiss on the cheek, or the sound of one, used to greet friends, family and often colleagues who know each other well. The number of kisses, from one to four, depends on the region, so watch what others do. With a stranger or a client, shake hands instead: serrer la main.
What are the usual meal times?
Lunch is the main break of the day, often an hour long. Dinner invitations usually start at 20 h, with an apéritif first. Say Bon appétit before starting, and wait for the host to begin.
How do you state rules and ask politely?
To describe a custom, use impersonal expressions followed by the infinitive. For a request, use the conditional of politeness.
| Expression | Meaning | Example |
|---|---|---|
| il faut + inf. | one must | Il faut dire bonjour en entrant. |
| il ne faut pas + inf. | one must not | Il ne faut pas couper la parole. |
| il vaut mieux + inf. | it is better to | Il vaut mieux arriver à l’heure. |
| je voudrais | I would like | Je voudrais un verre d’eau. |
| pourriez-vous + inf. | could you | Pourriez-vous répéter ? |
Common mistake
Il ne faut pas means “you must not”, never “you don’t have to”. For the second idea say Ce n’est pas obligatoire or Il n’est pas nécessaire de…. Mixing them up can make you sound very rude!
At the office
- Bonjour à tous ! — said when you enter, to everyone.
- Cordialement — formal email ending; À bientôt or Bises — friends.
- Chez nous, on déjeune à midi trente. — Where I come from, we eat lunch at 12:30.
Culture note
When invited to dinner, guests often bring flowers, a dessert or a bottle of wine. Chrysanthemums are linked to funerals, so avoid them as a gift.
Zoé’s tip
Start with vous, smile, and wait. If the other person says On se tutoie ?, you have just earned a new friend!
Key points to remember
- Start with vous; the other person usually proposes the switch to tu.
- Tutoyer and vouvoyer are -oyer verbs: je tutoie, nous tutoyons.
- La bise varies from one to four kisses depending on the region.
- Il faut means one must; il ne faut pas means one must not.
- Use je voudrais and pourriez-vous to make polite requests.
Etiquette, greetings and meals in France: frequently asked questions
When should I use tu and when vous in France?
Use vous with people you do not know, clients, older people and your boss, and tu with friends, family, children and classmates. If unsure, begin with vous. Many workplaces switch to tu quickly, especially in younger teams.
How many kisses are there in la bise?
There is no national rule: it can be one, two, three or four, depending on the region and the group. Follow the person who greets you. At work, a handshake is often more appropriate for a first meeting.
What time do French people eat?
Lunch is usually between 12 h and 14 h, dinner between 19 h 30 and 21 h. Many restaurants serve only during these windows and close in between, so check the opening hours before going.
How do I politely ask to switch to tu?
Say On peut se tutoyer ? or Si tu veux, on peut se tutoyer. In a hierarchy, it is generally the senior person who proposes the switch, and you answer Avec plaisir.
What does il ne faut pas mean?
It means “one must not”: Il ne faut pas fumer ici is a prohibition. To say “you don’t have to”, use Ce n’est pas obligatoire or Tu n’es pas obligé de venir. The two ideas are different in French.